Truth #9: Living in an apartment complex

Living in an apartment complex is always a strange experience. In some ways you feel connected and bonded to the other tenants just because of the complex itself, but in other ways it always just seems awkward and weird when you have interactions with them.

The awkwardness comes in the fact that you actually don't know these people, but you feel like you should (?) just because they live in the complex too. I always get this feeling like I should have a comraderie with the other people living there, but that comraderie always seems to be one-sided in some ways.

I imagine such a comaraderie of apartment complex neighbors to be similar to Tim Allen's relationship with Wilson in Home Improvement. In this relationship, we would all talk to each other on the balcony of the complex at set times each day. We will wave at each other, and even invite each other over for dinners, and discuss the issues that we are having at work, with our kids (I don't have any though), and with our marriage.

But for some reason, sadly, this has not happened for us. All that we get (and give) are awkward hellos and slight head nods of approval.

There are at least 18 units in our building, and out of those 18 we have probably only seen about five or 6 couples/people enter and exit from the same 6 units each day. Sometimes I wonder why no one else comes outside to protest the bar when they play loud music and have bar fights outside late at night. Maybe we haven't lived there long enough yet to be apathetic. So, in essence, if I walked past one of my neighbors on the street, I probably would not recognize the fact that we live in the same complex. Which is sad . . .

I told my mom about this issue and she said that we need to put ourselves out there, and get out of our comfort zone! Invite people over! But, unfortunately, for two introverts this is not as easy as it seems.

Maybe the thing that keeps people away is the associations that they have with the former renter of the unit that we live in. He left behind several "presents" for us, that we have yet to understand the meaning of. For instance, we have a blue light outside of our apartment (I don't like to turn it on in case someone thinks we are doing a drug deal), a weird massaging shower head (that was pretty much broken), a burn mark in the middle of our kitchen counter (that Braden covers with a mug), and a subscription to the clothing magazine for Tween girls, Justice . . .

Sometimes I like to imagine this person that used to live in our apartment. Upon moving in we were told that he was . . . eccentric.

Truth #8: Love and Marriage

I would be doing a dis-service to this blog that claims to talk about the truth about marriage if I did not write a post that talked about how great marriage is. I know that I have complained about the Bar, the cable, the fire, the wifely responsibilities, and the chores, but that is not all of what marriage is about.

The truth of the matter is that the best thing about marriage is that I get to hang out with my best friend every day. I can be completely myself with him.We can be open and honest about everything. And the best part is that no matter what anxieties, insecurities, and doubts that I have, he is always there to help me through them and he loves me unconditionally for it.

Here recently I have been saying to Braden, “Don’t you get it? I’m crazy about you!”

The reason that I love him so much is because he is his own person. I love Braden because he has his own sense of style, he is artsy, and even though he won’t admit it, he’s a bit of a hipster.

Sometimes I think that he may be a little too cool for me . . . but then his nerdy side comes out.

I love Braden because sometimes he is a little nerdy in his interests, hobbies, and knowledge of weird facts, but I love the depth of his personality, and that is what makes him so unique. I love Braden because he is not ashamed of who he is and what he likes.

He is his own person, and I don’t think that as many people are as comfortable being who they are as he is. I feel like I live for the weekends because I know that Braden will be off work and I can spend two whole days with just him, being him. This is why I dread Mondays . . .

I don’t know why he feels like he needs to go to work : ) but whenever I’m apart from him I don’t feel like I’m complete. I only feel like half a person, and like something is missing within my soul!

I know I am being sappy and ridiculous, but that’s just how much I love him.

I will never regret my decision to be married to him for Time and all Eternity. I just want to take advantage of every moment we have together to acknowledge the power of our love for each other, but he reminds me that we have eternity to do so . . .

 But sometimes I feel like eternity isn’t even enough time for me to fully understand the way that I feel for him : )

Truth #7: Dividing the Household Chores

Braden and I have never been the tidiest people . . .

When we were dating, Braden's car was so unkempt that I would find myself sitting on top of clothes, old soda cups, plates, books, you name it (still has not changed . . .). And my room was so junky that you could barely get the door open, and piles and piles of clothes made it look like my closet threw up! 

I thought with marriage that we would get better . . . but I also remember hearing that if you didn't make it a habit before marriage that a wedding is not going to instantly change you into clean freaks over night. 

The reason I thought that we would be better is because usually when I have a room roommate I am pretty good at tiding up my space and keeping things clean so that they don't get upset. But, I had also forgotten that these room roommates were girls, and girls seem to care a little bit more about things being out of place than I have found that boys do, causing our apartment to look like a war zone weekly.

I remember hearing that when you get married and actually start living with your spouse that there may be some things that they do that aren't similar to the way that you would do things. Or, they have habits that you were not aware of before . . . This has been the case with us. 

Upon first living together, Braden and I had some differences about the toilet seat--up or down. Also, I may have a tendency to drink a lot of juice and to leave the cups around in various places throughout the house. Even before marriage I established that "boys take out the trash!" and here lately I've been asked what my duty should be (I'm now the laundry person to compromise). 

I remember hearing that you need to train your husband to do things (which is ridiculous! he is not a dog) like putting the toilet seat down, but upon following this advice I have become a NAG. And my mother laughed when I told her what I'd become! It is not my life ambition to be a NAG. And so, I should probably just get the book, the Man Whisperer to figure out how to get things done around the house (that book is as equally disgraceful and ridiculous as the notion of training a husband!)